When Jimmy Met Clarence

October 19, 2024

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On this week's edition of Mark Steyn on the Town, we explore some byways of Bond. James Bond, that is. David Arnold (007's composer from Tomorrow Never Dies to Quantum of Solace) and Don Black (who's written more 007 lyrics than anybody else) chip in with a few thoughts, and, musically, we hear from Count Basie, Dusty Springfield, Herb Alpert and more. Plus: a 1908 spelling bee, and a presidential campaign song.

To listen to the programme, simply click here and log-in.

~Last week's show attracted a lot of comment. Fraser writes:

What with the shortening days, thank God for the antidote of Steyn's luminescent show. What a marvel of Kristofferson celebration, the strongest Sinatra Sextet yet, a Cypriot-North London-Café Imperial concatenation of George Michael, Cat Stevens and Michael Bublé (in some form or other) and two moments of sheer beauty – Eileen Farrell singing (with Sinatra) the line 'Lay your head upon my pillow' in 'For the Good Times' and Sinatra's opening line in 'Nobody Wins'.

Come to think of it, only Mark Steyn, in a radio segue for the ages, could move effortlessly from 'The Lord's Prayer' to booze, broads and the Bible with a little help from 'Help Me Make it Through the Night'. The show's a total gem. Thanks Eileen, Frank, Kris and Mark and heck, maybe autumn ain't so bad.

You're right, Fraser, that segueing out of "The Lord's Prayer" into Cole Porter isn't to be attempted lightly. I don't think it's in The Disc-Jockey's Handbook.

Alison, a member of The Mark Steyn Club from the English Home Counties, says:

Wow, what a show. I normally listen to this programme while busily preparing our Saturday evening meal but I had to postpone it this time, because I needed to pay attention to the lyrics, including from the Sermon on the Mount. They had me a bit breathless, notably the rendition of Cat Stevens' 'Baby, Baby, it's a wild world', the wonderful Cole Porter song and 'One for the Road' (breathalise that man).

The life of Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) on Wikipeda is mind-boggling. I think I sang as a backing choir for him once in Coventry Cathedral before he became a devout Moslem. I had no idea that Kris Kristofferson was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford's Merton College and that he got a MPhil in Eng Lit. He broke with his family to pursue songwriting instead of teaching English at West Point (disappointing their expectations for him, reportedly). He wants 'I have tried in my way to be free' written on his tombstone (by Leonard Cohen).

I don't think I have ever really thought before this programme about the sacred "'ministry of lyrics' but some are psalm-like observations on the state of life and the human soul. There is a precedent in that the Psalms were sung. I am currently pursuing an observation about modern church teaching i.e. that it is not addressing the depths of actual human life. Often Victorian hymns 'speak' more. Ergo, modern pulpit teaching is not fully relevant to many of the people listening. One can see that some (older) popular lyrics unconsciously did reach those states of mind.

Listeners can handle a certain amount of Sinatra ring-a-ding lyric variation, but last week's was too much for Gary Alexander:

Maybe it's because Sinatra is such a proven expert on booze and broads, but I winced when he rounded out the trilogy with the Bible, notably at a couple of spots in his Biblical exegesis of the Lord's Prayer. Kudos for not objectifying The Father, in saying "Who art in heaven" rather than the inert "which art." But when it comes to cramming the 3-syllable "trespasses" into the single-syllable slot reserved for "debts" -- not once but twice, it's not only non-musical and clumsy but non-textual.

Find a new translation, Frankie.

It's true that "debts" and "debtors" are in both the King James version of the Lord's Prayer and my copy of Schirmer's original 1935 sheet music for Albert Hay Malotte's setting. Historically speaking, "debts" predates "trespasses" by a couple of centuries (John Wycliffe's translation in 1395 vs William Tyndale's in 1526). But the latter wound up in the Book of Common Prayer, which is why it's the version Anglicans such as myself grew up with. And it's also the word preferred by anglophone Catholics such as Sinatra.

Which is probably why he chose it, assuming it wasn't an imposition by some hoity-toity Episcopalian producer. For what it's worth, on our annual Christmas Eve broadcast of Lessons and Carols, my friends Eva Vlaardingerbroek and Samantha Smith both said "trespasses" - and that's not because I stuck it in the script: for the very first prayer any child memorises (or did), I sort of feel you should let them recite the version that means the most to them.

When I was a kid, I liked "trespasses" because it was a word one never used outside the Lord's Prayer - whereas "debts" crops up every twenty minutes of the day as I stare at my legal bills. I'm not sure I'd ever used "debts" (in prayer) until I moved to New Hampshire and, in the absence of any branch of the Anglican Church of Canada, began attending my town's little Baptist Church.

On the other hand, Gary proposes his own lyrical amendment:

Turning to booze and broads, here's an alternative translation for that greatest of all Sinatra saloon songs:

It's quarter to three
there's no-one in the place 'cept you and me, so ....
Stick 'em up, Joe.

Robert Wilkinson, an Arizona Steyn Clubber, is still grappling with the previous week's excursion into Sade's biggest hit:

Mark, as always I enjoy the show despite that I have zero musical ability. I still try to follow along even though the technical music side it is over my head.

I guess that is why I don't get Sade. I mean, are there any words to 'Smooth Operator' besides the words 'smooth operator'? If so I can't remember any of them.

So, I much prefer Anita Baker.

Maybe you can work her into a program.

We've already worked in Anita Baker, Robert - into my show on the song "Witchcraft". Maybe we'll re-air that for Halloween.

Thanks for all your comments - including the critical ones. On the Town is my weekly music show on Serenade Radio every Saturday at 5pm British Summer Time - that's 6pm in western and central Europe/12 midday North American Eastern. You can listen from anywhere in the world by clicking the button at top right here.

As listeners know, I'm a great believer in old-school appointment listening, and love the way Serenade's Saturday schedule flows through the day. However, we appreciate that many potential listeners are, at the appointed hour, shampooing the cat. So, as a bonus for Steyn Club members, we post On the Town at SteynOnline every weekend. You can find all our previous shows here.

We do enjoy your comments on our weekend programming. Steyn Clubbers are welcome to leave them below. For more on The Mark Steyn Club, see here - and don't forget our special Gift Membership.

Mark Steyn on the Town can be heard on Serenade Radio at the following hours:

Saturday 5pm London time/9am Los Angeles

Sunday 5am London time/12 midnight New York

Steyn's Song of the Week continues at its usual hour on Sunday, Monday and Thursday.